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PRISONER RELEASED AFTER 25 YEAR SENTENCE ARRESTED FOR STEALING BED SHEETS FROM PRISON IN HIS RECTUM

A prisoner set to be released this morning from a super-maximum security prison in Colorado after serving a 25 year sentence, was arrested before even exiting the facility while attempting to steal bed sheets and pillow cases from the prison hidden in his rectal cavity.

71-year old Warren McIntire served 25 years in the federal prison system for a kidnapping and murder committed in Denver in 1991, and was set to be released from the ACX Florence federal prison where he spent the last decades.

During a cavity search before his release, security guards found a two bed sheets and two pillow cases wrapped in plastic bags in Mr. McIntire’s rectal cavity.

In accordance with the regulations of the regulations of the Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBP), the 71-year old man was immediately accused of third-degree burglary and sent back to his cell to await his trial.

A spokesman of the penitentiary facility, Mr. Michael James, described the theft as a possible “desperate attempt to remain in prison” during a brief press conference a few hours after the incident.

“The detainee spent most of his life in prison, 37 years in total. He probably wanted to avoid being released in a world he knows nothing about.”

Mr. James says that several prisoners commit crimes while in prison to avoid being released, but this is the first time an American prisoner is caught trying to steal from a penitentiary facility.

“Mr. McIntire found God and renounced violence while in prison. I guess God showed him a non-violent way to remain in prison. It’s weird, I admit, but I’ve seen worse.”

Mr. Michael James, spokesman of the ACX Florence prison, says the prisoner probably wanted to get caught and remain in prison with resorting to violence.

Mr. McIntire is accused of 3rd degree burglary and faces a maximum sentence of 24 months of imprisonment.

The United States Attorney’s Office for the District of Colorado demanded a psychiatric evaluation to determine if he is mentally fit to stand trial and can be considered criminally responsible for his actions.

Therefore, the beginning of his trial was scheduled in August to allow time for a complete evaluation.