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FBI ARRESTS 3 MEN PLANNING AN ATTACK WITH A MENTOS AND DIET COKE BOMB

Washington, D.C. | Three Georgetown University students were arrested this morning by agents of the FBI Counterterrorism Division for planning a bomb attack on an unidentified target using tons of Mentos mints and Diet Coke.

Dozens of federal agents invested three apartments and a commercial storage unit early this morning in the Georgetown and West End districts of the U.S. capital.

The agents arrested three alleged domestic terrorists: 23-year old Jerry McInnis, 26-year old Martin Schultz, and 24-year old Thomas Ferguson, all three students in communications and public relations at Georgetown University.

According to FBI spokeswoman Ms. Jill Davis, the men had already purchased more than 1,800 gallons of Diet Coke and 4,200 pounds of Mentos tablets for their attack.

“We found several pallets of chemicals hidden in a warehouse, enough to blow up a entire city block. They’d already spent hours opening the Mentos wrappings and were almost ready to act.”

Ms. Davis admitted that the plot’s target remains unidentified, but said the suspects’ interrogations or the analysis of their phones and computers could soon provide that information.

“They lived in Washington and had tons of possible targets nearby. We didn’t wait to find out and arrested them before they blew up the White House or Capitol Building.”

FBI spokeswoman Jill Davis said the accused had enough Mentos and Diet Coke to blow up an entire street clock.

All three men are accused of illegal possession of controlled explosives and plotting to commit a terrorist attack, but have already made it known that they would plead innocent, claiming the FBI totally misinterpreted the situation.

According to Mr. Ferguson’s lawyer, Mr. Gregory Porter, the accused were simply planning to create a viral video involving “soft drink eruptions” and had no intention to commit a terrorist attack.

Mr. Porter argued that Mentos and Diet Coke are not weapons or explosives and should not be treated as “dangerous controlled substances”. The lawyer claims he’s confident that the accusations will be dropped “when the FBI realizes its mistake”.

Diet Coke and Mentos were placed on the Federal List of Prohibited and Controlled Substances in 2001 and that possession of large quantities requires a license and security accreditation.